My defamation action against Jenn Allen, the woman who falsely accused me of rape last year after I ended our relationship, is over. She retracted her statements and apologized, which is the very relief I sought before filing this action, and I accordingly dismissed the lawsuit. The settlement agreement is here.
Unfortunately, when you have been accused of rape — even provably falsely as I have been — there’s no way to “win”. For the rest of my life, when someone searches my name on the internet, the word “rape” will appear somewhere among the results. And that person will always wonder whether or not I was capable of such a heinous act.
Despite the pain this has caused me and my family, I took action to enforce my right not to be defamed by lies. I sued Jennifer Allen last year for defamation based on the false rape allegations she made against me. The truth is, she made those allegations because I was in a stable and happy relationship, and would no longer communicate with her.
Today that litigation ended because I was innocent of this outrageous and malicious lie. Jennifer Allen herself offered to settle the case by voluntarily retracting her statements and apologizing, obviously without receiving anything from me in return. This – the truth – is what I and everyone deserves, and is all I’ve asked for from the beginning.
Three pivotal events led to today’s result.
The first was that Jenn had falsely claimed other witnesses would support her testimony. Allen accused me of raping another woman – that woman, once we discovered who she was, told us and the court that Allen had tried to coerce her into saying I had raped her. A recent message to me: “I feel so manipulated by Jenn. I can’t believe how it must feel to be you. If I had known everything that was going on I would have gotten involved sooner.”
The second pivotal moment: another ex boyfriend of Jenn’s came forward and, despite fearing that Jenn would attack him publicly as well, made a statement to the court that Jenn had been abusive and extremely delusional with him too, even scaring his young child. He also said that Jenn believed I had her under satellite surveillance and routinely hacked her phone calls impersonating other people. She would only talk via video chat to ensure that she was talking to this man. She believed that any voice only calls could be me impersonating him with a voice device. She was also unable to tell truth from delusion.
These psychological issues became apparent during the third pivotal moment, her deposition. Jenn arrived so late to her deposition that her own attorneys weren’t sure if she would show up. She appeared drugged, and admitted that she had taken a strong antipsychotic medication before the deposition. She was prescribed and taking a variety of antipsychotic/bipolar/depression drugs, including at least Seroquel, Abilify, Lexapro and Trazodone.
Her lawyers then ended the deposition hours early. Jenn thereafter retracted her statements and apologized to me.
With Jenn’s retraction and apology, obviously without receiving anything from me in return, I agreed to dismiss this lawsuit. This – the truth – is what I and everyone deserves, and is all I’ve asked for from the beginning.
I’m going to try to move forward with my life now. I’m lucky to have had the support of family and friends. And most importantly, a loving partner who has stuck with me throughout this ordeal (and who had to remove large parts of her life from the Internet when Jenn became abusive towards her, too).
They say that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I can say with certainty that is not true. My goal now is to try to continue seeing the world as a fundamentally good place. It will be something I struggle with for the rest of my life, but I’m confident that I’ll find a way.
Update: Scott Sullivan-Reinhart, the person I mentioned above who was brave enough to speak out about Jenn’s behavior, has made a public statement on his Facebook page:
It makes you stronger after a while…
I’m glad this is over and that you can finally move on. Try as much as possible to release all of the emotional toxicity this incident has caused you for your own good.
The past ios the past and the future has not happened yet, so live in the NOW. It’s the only thing you can control.
Good luck man and stay strong.
~Alberto S. Lopez
Mike – I am SO proud of you for speaking out today, knowing how hard it was to do – and I’m so glad the truth is finally showing. She retracted her statements – not because you paid her off, as some would have us believe, but because they WERE NOT TRUE.
I jumped to your defense at the beginning because I’ve actually BEEN there. I spent eight years in a highly abusive marriage. People who live that way do NOT suddenly seem happy and self-confident and post all over the Internet about it. Do you have any idea of how many years it took before I could openly talk about the abuse with a shrink and my family… let alone publicly? It’s STILL hard to do. I knew off the bat she was lying and I’m glad I jumped in on Scoble’s thread, even if including my statements (and her insane answers to me) didn’t really help matters. I still know I did the right thing by putting myself out there and standing up for what was RIGHT.
You say that this didn’t make you stronger. I promise you – in some way you haven’t seen yet, it has. Perhaps it’s in the fact that your current awesome relationship is even stronger. Perhaps it’s in the fact that you TRULY know who has your back, who you can count on and who actually cares about you.
Remember – the ones who matter believed you the entire time. We may not have been able to do much to help, but we never once wavered in our firm belief that this entire thing was made up.
Rock on, dude.
In India this would take minimum 20 years to resolve. Thank your American judicial system
So sorry that happened to you, Mike. But you will move beyond it, I know you will. Congratulations on it being over.
Well said Francine.
Like there was ever doubt.
You’re so unlucky to have such a weird ex.
I can’t imagine the damage made in your life.
I had never heard of that story, but I have known such a mentally ill person. Si, ne aware that some people around you can understand what you’ve been through.
Fred – Belgium
Is there any reason why you didn’t try and get a financial settlement from her? As now she can just repeat the lies privately and say she only recounted as you threatened to destroy her.
Because she has nothing worth taking. If, in the near future, she does panhandle someone into investing in her worthless app, then she will possibly have something of worth…in that case, she’d be wise to keep taking her meds and move on with life.
She can certainly babble on privately. In that case, those who listen will only pay her lip service sympathy.
The worst part about this isn’t that this crazy monster nearly destroyed you, it is how the press handled it. Even the stories today. Disgraceful.
Glad to hear you can mover forward from this unfortunate episode. Side note and given the substance of this article, this is relatively minor: Mike, you need to tuck that period inside the quotation mark in paragraph 2.
Congratulations for fighting, and many congratulations for winning !
Wow. Very happy for you and hugely impressed that you understand the problem is mental illness. You are unlucky to have had to go through this issue with Jenn, but she is lucky that you are the person she went through it with.
All the best in the next chapters of your life.
Good that you are in US , Mike . Congrats on your win !
There are thousands of men (read husbands) suffering in India because of extremely biased dowry laws here, no Indian media outlet and nobody in responsible position is ready to fight this 300 pound gorilla. Read about IPC 498a misuse on Google to understand what I am saying. I wish someone in foreign media can take this up.
It’s good that you were finally cleared in this matter, but as you stated, you will never be in the clear because of the accusation. It’s sad that so many people will immediately assume guilt based off an accusation, add the accusation of rape and it can and does destroy men’s lives.
A lot of women (and men too!) really don’t know the carnage wrought by a false rape charge. My cousin was accused of rape and went through the wringer in the court system, lost his job, his fiancee, and his reputation because of a false report of rape. He was in another frigging’ state on business and had the alibi and proof that he couldn’t have been at the woman’s apartment when she said she was raped by him!
He is still suing his ex-employer, the prosecutor (for malicious prosecution), and the woman who falsely accused him. His lawsuits are now at the 4 year mark because of the state and county filed an appeal after losing the first case. He settled with his employer, the women who falsely accused him of rape is now living off of the government through WIC and other government programs after getting fired for employee theft.
The vast majority of women would never file a false complaint of rape, but the small minority that does and destroys a mans life over being spurned, rejected, or just for kicks tends to color the perception society has when women file rape charges. It may not be just, nor nice, but men have to know that if a woman chooses, she can destroy your life with a single phone call and accusation. Women know this and unfortunately that creates a real problem for equal relationships – a lack of trust.
When a man gets provably falsely accuse of rape, he has no other option but to go on the offensive and seek legal redress. If women don’t like the fact that a man has to fight for his reputation, perhaps they need to walk a mile in his boots after his life has been destroyed.
I wish you would take down Adrian Chen and Nick Denton as well, but I understand why you’d rather not deal with more hateful garbage right now.
I wish you healing and strength.
The fact that your life has been tarnished by this experience – and that you remain steadfast in your conviction that the world is fundamentally a good place – is the core of your newfound strength. With it, should come greater compassion and understanding that bad things – underserved, inexplicable things, happen to underserving people. Some are born into these circumstances, some experience them in a variety of ways (mental illness being one of them). The idea is that we resolve to do our part to make the world a better place and minimize suffering as we all have to endure hard times.
Incidentally I’ve endured two family members with mental illness like Jenn’s. I’ve also had two roommates and three neighbors who have delusional bipolar disorder. So, I understand how confusing and scary dealing with a sometimes normal, otherwise intelligent and wonderful person can be. My neighbor who moved to Hawaii in recent months confided to me (what was already apparent) that she was bipolar and how her children had been taken from her only for one to drown in foster care (he survived) as another witnessed and called 911. The younger victim now has brain damage. The children were returned to her, and she is for the most part a very good mother.
However, after moving, she sent me messages on LinkedIn accusing me of being paid by Al Jezeera to spy on her and her kids. This is a woman I prayed with during hard times, whose children played with my daughter, who I helped move…and she was also kind and generous for the most part. I still remember the thoughtful gift basket and card she brought when she heard my mother had passed last year, and the pies she would send during holidays.
I’ve had some other experiences with delusional family members, but this is the most recent. Very sad…
Hey Michael. I just saw the news, and it’s August, so I’m late. But I’m very happy to learn that this awful, terrible, and totally horrific period is finally past.
I have to say that there are many people who jumped out against you in media and in social media, who owe you a huge apology. Sadly, many of them lack the character to do so.
Be well, my friend.
I am just now seeing this story (Oct 13th) as I was reminded of Jenn and this terrible injustice you incurred when I saw a headline about Amanda Bynes and the sad denouement of her mental illness. Sadly, the parallels here are too easily drawn (Bynes falsely accused her own father of incest on Twitter before being committed to a mental hospital over the weekend). It’s tough to discern what palpably must feel like malevolent wrongdoing from what I suppose demonstrably is a presentation of severe mental illness. Very glad you found support through this unfathomable nightmare. Godspeed to you in finding the power to forgive her – I truly believe you are right to have faith in the good of humanity; it’s out there.